I really should not be thinking about my depressing attachment now that I am enjoying my life rotting away during my off day..haha but since I thought of it and am thinking of it now, I shall just summarise the week? (as if the weekly reflection is not enough, ha!)
Other than the fact that attachment life=no life for me, I guess it is my personality at work that make this week even worse. How should I say it, being thrown in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people is okay if I am feeling right, and if everybody is as unfamiliar with one another as I am with them, but since this case is that I am the only one who is unfamiliar with everyone else, it made all the difference. While I feel mostly alone and not knowing anyone nor the place nor the work that I am supposed to do, everyone else is striving so well, so familiar with the people and the system. First off, I am new to the system of SGH while 90% of the rest have been here since last semesters. Then, I had off on the first day of officially starting of work while the rest mingled with the staff of the ward. I am not saying that this SHOULD be affecting me nor that my batch mates are not helping, it is just that I felt left out. Maybe a little. And that made me withdrawn. Erm, simply put, when the staff know my friends by name and worked with them before and with them more familiar with the system or at least were exposed to ti previously, they naturally would put across more jobs for them than for me. And seeing that they are more familiar with one another, I would of course go back into my shell. Yes I know this is not the way and I should take more initiative. That's why I am not going to conclude as of now, and be more thick-skinned (and shameless, and irritating, and AP, if that really is what it takes, haix) And I should learn to withdraw my judgments towards them and towards myself. I am the one who is putting myself down, and that shall be my conclusion of the week.
and off to enjoy my rest of the rest day! :)