Am I really being too wistful and greedy to want to keep my secondary school friends, pri sch friends and at the same time devote myself to jc friends?
I think, people tends to believe in things that are not real or hard to prove.
I believed in creating a dimple-like dent on my cheek by poking it countless time. It worked, slightly.
I believed in ghosts. God bless me for not experiencing or seeing any.
I believed that extreme people of different religions can exist and co-exist together. Well, I guess I'm proven wrong.
I believed that as long as there is a will, there will always be a way. I'm wrong again. The path is already created in front of us. Struggling only creates more bends and distractions for us.
I believe that hardwork will earn you anything. Well, I guess it's right for some people.
I believe that I'm nice to kids and kids should like me. I'm wrong, they all cried when they see me smile.
I believe if I try not to engage in something, I wouldn't have to. Fact is, I HAVE TO.
I believe as long as I stay away from trouble, I won't be troubled. But they seem to know the ways to haunt me.
I believe fate is destined. Others disagree.
I believe maybe under certain circumstances, we can get to choose. I'm wrong.
I believe I can achieve anything if I persevere. I think it'll be true, but I won't persevere.
I believe I'm being nice by talking to everyone. But people think I was acting and trying to get into good shoes of everyone.
I believed I can hold on. But I'm letting go.
It's tiring when you send SMS and no one replies you. It's tiring when all you do everyday is apologising. It's tiring if you're pretending to be you 18 hours a day. It's tiring to keep smiling. It's tiring to keep reminding yourself to smile cause otherwise you will get everyone worried. It's tiring to complete the neverending homework yet and again. It's tiring worrying if you'll lose your scholarship one day. It's tiring to worry about your results every single day. It's tiring to worry that you will lose all your friends one day. It's tiring that you have to think through every sentence before you say anything. It's tiring to think of things to say whenever the atmosphere died down. It's tiring not thinking about anything bad. It's tiring to cry. It's tiring to keep your eyes dry. It's tiring to be the goody-goody you want to be. It's tiring worrying what others thinks of you. It's tiring to keep yourself afloat. It's tiring to lament. It's tiring to be tired.
I'm fine.