i need self control. like, a lot a lot A LOT of self control. control myself from overspending, control myself from yielding in to other people's requests, control myself from feeling too little or too much, control myself from being nonchalant over things i should care more about. overspending has always been one of my biggest problem and been trying to solve it. and looking at my bank account's balance now just prove that i've failed at my mission, big time :O don't really know how i'm gonna be able to save enough for the US and aussie trips next year, seeing that my bank account is always almost empty :| oh well, somehow i'll be able to make it, right? *wishful thinking*
and i see that my escapist mode in life hasn't really help me in a lot of situations if at all..like how i feel coerced into buying the package beyond my ability, and after i "ducked" for so many times with no avail i just did what i was told. decreasing the pressure from paying 900 to 300 isn't supposed to help if i really don't think the package necessary, and yet feeling the pressure being relieved by the reduction of 600 made me said okay without thinking twice. in the end? i'm stuck now between foregoing the 300 i've paid, and paying 1380 more. don't think the fact that my bonus is coming is gonna help in my bank figures at all just by judging from the way i'm spending now :O ahh horrors!! and of course so many other things that after i failed avoiding i just gave in..what happened to self control?? and which part of "no means no" don't the people understand when they're trying to push things to me? bleah. unless of course they realise no means maybe for me :@
okay enough about the moaning LOL..life has been kind to me so far from the last time i've posted here..not much ups and downs and definitely no major events happening *thank god* now just waitin for my KL and then korea trips to come..okay or maybe i should not think about them too since they have accompanying costs that i'm trying to forget :| and now i shall get back to sleep and prep for my night shift!:))
我的生日願望是：從今年起，希望生日都能平平安安靜悄悄地過去；希望對於生日靜悄悄地過的事，能感到舒心。過去那麼多年都沒有慶祝過，以後一定也可以不慶祝。