wow it's been more than 2 months since i last updated here..ehh may and june is too long ago for me to remember anything significant LOL and july's been spent overseas till now so..no update needed:P
okay lah i'll try to recall..let's see..last 2 weeks have been spent in taiwan with my eldest sis..it didn't start off right at the beginning cause all the plannings were not done and my sis got so fed up with me that just the day before and right till the morning when the flight is scheduled she's firmly decided not to go already..she even withdrew cash to pay me back the amount that i paid for the plane tickets..she got fed up with me because in her opinion i didn't help with the planning at all and was so inactive and seemingly uninterested in the trip at all..but in mine i've already told her from the start i'll just book the air tickets and pay for whatever necessary first and the rest is all hers to decide, which she agreed to with a sigh. and throughout i've been offering my card to pay but she was the one who kept saying have to wait and check and see and blah blah before i make the payment so i waited..anyway now that it is my fault that i wasn't involved in the planning and everything not settled, i apologised to her and initially she ignored me..but somehow somewhere i still have no idea why she turned and shouted at me to make the payments..erm so i did and we went off..okay i do not seem at all repentant here but for a while there i did..i mean, i do see why she was angry with me cause her accusations of me not having any idea where we're going stands, and it was a fact that i was not available for discussion during the last week before the trip, in the sense when i have morning shifts i went out after and only come back home as late as when i have afternoon shifts so ya..blame accepted.
and since the trip started with her being angry with me, i tried to keep peace between us throughout the trip, which means not using whatsapp when she was around, giving her the side of the bed she chose, let her use my phone for whatever reasons, taking all the blame when things go wrong, etc. i did fail once or twice but it was recovered..maybe she also realised that she cannot get angry with me during the trip or else it would be disaster..hrm so anyway, the trip was fine. great sight seeing, nice weather (scorching sun), tiring yes because of all the walking along the highway and up and down the mountain, but overall, okay. just didn't get to eat much and didn't get to shop much..haha
okay and then before that was my birthday..my family bought a cake and celebrated for me..i always think i have some issues with expressing my feelings, or that i do not have the right feelings at the right time..in the sense i have to remind myself that this is a touching gesture and that i should be very grateful for everything that they have done for me, which leads me to think if i really felt those feelings at all or were they all fabricated by myself cause it was right to feel that way..sounds serious? actually not really hahah..i do feel feelings as such, just maybe not so strong or at the wrong moments oops..
hrm okay, so even before that..oh i received the official letter from HR to indicate that i am transferring to DEM with effect from 6 Aug..it came as a shock to the whole A side with me included, because i didn't really request for out..anyway for a while i was really tempted to request to stay in the ward, with my preceptor and colleagues wanting so as well. but DEM is known to be such a difficult place to get placement in and if i pass this chance off i'm not sure when will i get another one so..i took up the challenge to go to the new environment and to start afresh! as my mentor asked me to ask myself in deciding what to do with the transfer: 1. are you ready to take up the challenge to go to ED so early 2. do you want to stay here and learn more at this point in time. frankly i've decided for myself that i would move out from this ward sooner or later, but at this point i do feel that i still have more to learn; at the same time, i want to move on to ED now and experience, and knowing that if i grow comfortable with this place it would be harder for me to request out, i supposed now is just right a time to start anew when i'm still "young", as what my preceptor later on told me too. hopefully when i'm really gone i won't miss the ward too much, and i shall avoid at all cost to "come back crying and requesting back" like the "horror stories" told to me.
okay even earlier along the timeline...........nothing much already i guess..haha so probably i'll end here now:) quite a long post here..till next time then!:)