the dumbest thing to do is to listen to sad songs when you are feeling empty. which is exactly what i am doing now.
did i do the right thing? have been ignoring my dad since the night we had a kinda argument (or rather he scolding me)..just now when he left the house i was pondering if i should say bye to him or sth cause it's been so long already..i dunno..in the end i did not..which means i missed the opportunity to make things up with my dad..well maybe next time? i've been missing a lot of opportunities in doing a lot of stuff which i think will cause me to regret later, but since i already missed the chance then i shall just let it go bah..
there are a lot of versions to when the results are going to be released, but all of the dates falls before mid march so i guess i shall better get all my information about what course i want to take asap..my sis was commenting that my state is quite pathetic because i have no idea what are the jobs offered outside, or what course i want to pursue, or any idea of what i want to become in the future..as in, i have been telling everyone that i am thinking of going into physiotherapy, but that was something that i thought up as a "temporary goal"? i dunno what i have in my mind exactly, just that i thought it might not be bad to be a physiotherapist, but it is not something that i have any great desire to become..you know, 可有可无？ that kinda feeling..i have been reflecting on my lack of goal in life, and the most logical reason to me (and definitely to no one else) is that i don't want to fail again. as in, what if i really desperately aim for something and in the end i end up with nothing? i have no confidence in my results and where they will bring me, so i rather not aim at anything specific so that if i cannot get into my "choice" i won't get too disappointed..
it is funny how usually this kind of times i'd recall the two times of choosing schools..secondary school as well as JC..dunman high was a school that i got "hooked on" to go into since pri 5 ( i still have no idea WHY it is so) anyway still remember at the result release day the principal was announcing who achieved 3 A* etc..i was super disappointed when i was not mentioned because if i had not got 3 A* most probably i would not be able to go into dunman high..so imagine my surprise when my score allow me to go into the school with only 2 A*..haha anyway i think that was the one and only time that i yearned to go into a particular school..after O's we were filling in the school options and i can tell you i mostly anyhow filled in, which might be detected by the posting people because they also anyhow post me to my last choice..haha paiseh lah but MJ was my last choice and as i have mentioned zillion times before, i put innova as my 6th choice and serangoon as my 11th or 10th choice and somehow i managed to get into MJ which is my 18th choice instead..irony of life that brings me to where i am now..but seriously at that moment i wanted to change back to innova because almost my whole of first 3mths class is remaining at innova..which i did not do in the end..same as when i tried to appeal into tampines for the first three months instead of innova and i did not manage to complete the process because i couldn't find the main gate into the school that day..fate? probably is..
haha i think i am off the main topic, which i have no recollection what it is about..
phew..long post..shall cont'd next time :)
till then..