August 02, 2007

sometimes or other i would really wonder what had changed me to become what i am. i could sense myself sinking lower and lower into the pit hole of laziness and procrastination, turning into the person that i would have possibly sneer at. there seemed to be a factor that had been keeping me in the hole all these while, unwilling to try and determined not to obey what is expected of me. once or twice i'd suddenly feel the foolishness in my doings and panicked, then i would slide back into idleness. what was i doing when i tried every means to defy my mum, when i had wished to be the one that she would rely on when she grows old? where had the me that aspired to be someone my family would rely on went to?
but i think, i have finally found a way out. i would use my own feet to stand up and climb out of the hole, not letting my other self to keep myself in anymore. i would have the strength to fight and be strong, the courage to persevere and strive, the determination to change myself for the better. i would shake the shadow of the past off and look forward. i would believe in what i believe, and believe the dream and wish that my heart has will become part of my life.