haha i have no idea why, but this post is significant for me because it marks the 365th post i wrote over the past 3 years..365 days=1 year? LOL no link..
dreamt that i was cheated when i went to change my phone..lol i guess i am getting anxious over my deteriorating phone and the uncertainty that keep piling up..haha yesterday was a day of CO. after we went to flag raising, me and val and jianrong went to the CO room together and thus began our day of CO practice. Nothing really much had happened, except that junwei and sihan was asked out of the practice by the teachers at a point of time during the co practice and you know all abt our reactions. they talked for more than 5 mins outside while the rest of the guanyue was kinda steaming with frustration etc etc in the room. and the matter became worse when sihan came in crying and junwei downhearted. i was glad that not long after we were supposed to get ready to go to SCH and so i went to down to find pris to pass her the worksheet that i was supposed to give her in the morning but slipped my mind. anyway passed it to sab and me and jenny went back up to the CO room. the whole guanyue had a section talk and we decided, well, a decision. i shan't say it here just in case people who read this became too overjoyed by their successful attempts at backstabbing that they'll do more of it to more of us. talk about the art of backstabbing. I don't give a
DAMN. none of us do, actually.
and as u realise, i left out a portion of what happened during the whole thing, but i find no reason to put that in. merely because, i've found no reason for me doing that in the first place. i have no reason, no right, no nothing to do what i did. and i wished i had kept myself at bay instead of losing control. for that, i'm sorry.anyway went to SCH and we had that one hour of rehearsal. which just isn't enough for a CO who flawed at every arrangement. from lining up, to seating arrangements. sorry if i sound too critical and mean, though i kind of mean what i write here.anyway when we got down from the hall the VJCO people were already getting ready for their rehearsal. Saw zhuangyuan, xiuyi, flora, ruth, sihan, sizhao, my sis (LOL) but i didn't stay to talk cause i was looking around for the percussion people to put down the tambourine before i line up to go onto the bus. (Sorry!) anyway in the end we waited outside for the bus to come for more than 10 mins but i decided against going back in to find them since they're getting ready for their rehearsal. well, the next time we see them, it'll be at SYF (nervous :P) anyway so we went back to sch and during the 1 hour of lunch break me and val went to "crash" bio prac for a while after we ate, before going back to CO practice in the hall. practise till 7 and tada! the day is over!! :D
deceptions..deceit..betrayal..dishonesty..backstabbings..hypocrites..what's more to come?woke up at 11 plus today and slacked till now. talk about revision as i had planned. oh well. shall do that later..tests lining up in the week that i can't afford to fail, but seemingly inevitably so. RAH. for so much that had happened, i kinda hate myself for some decision but glad that i did for others. ANYWAY.
let's keep our mind focused on syf and a level's.. 1 week to syf and less than 6 months for a level's....
RAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
why are we suffering when CO was supposed to bring us joy and relaxation? where are all the moments that i feel i belong to somewhere? where is that place in which i can forget all my troubles and recollect myself? why am i feeling more and more exhausted? why..CO is not CO anymore? whoever is more cruel, cold-blooded, hypocritical, successful in backstabbing, wins in CO? whoever that goes around backstabbing people will be better in skills? Where is the sense in your actions when you talk about being as one chinese orchestra, when you are the one who are depreciating us like shit? will talking bad about us give you your skills? What's the sense in that?1 more week..