do you realise?
that i am being further and further from you
that i start to not knowing what to say to you
that i cease to talk to you about my heart
do you realise?
that you no longer tell me what happened at the first instance
that you no longer can pull me out of my shell like it used to be
that you don't see me cry in front of you anymore
that i can only hear say what has happened to you
had been wondering if i am starting to get numb or just growing more mean by the days. then i realise i am forcing myself not to get involve into a lot of things anymore. trying not to care, pretending not to know, and slowly, my sense of feeling ebb away. no. i still sense a lot of things, i still sense sorrow and pain, but now, i don't face it. i pretend not to hear or know its presence, i pretend the people around me are not suffering. i pretend, that i am cruel. that i am numb. and then slowly, i no longer have the ability to comfort others. i no longer turned to when you are in trouble, i no longer turn to you when i am in trouble. i am always lost for word. when you cried, i could just stare at you. wordless. it just fails me.
i am coping with my life.
i wish you could cope it with me.
i know you are coping with your life.
i wish i help you cope with it too.
but fact is,
i can't, and you won't.