tink my mind set is changing everyday..trying to keep myself as the old me..but somehow it just keep changing..irritating!!!
lol talking about irritating..i'm irritated by my sis from the moment i wake up lah..like the first thing in the morning is becoming irritated for me..lol which is a irritating experience i tell u..sian..and everytime she come home from sch she have this ability to anger or irritate everyone in the house..especially nowsdays..lol but then..it might just because of myself tt i find it irritating lah..lalala..hope either i change my attitude for the better or she change hers..haha
hmmm..back to main pt..been v long never blog le rite? haha tt time i managed to log in but then cuz everyone gathered around the other com which is beside this com to watch ALL IN den i feel insecure to type..den in the end i just exited the com..haha it's strange isn't it..like u type here u blog everyone can see..but when u type u just dun like the feeling of other ppl being able to see wat u type..haha and will feel exposed..maybe it work on the same theory as in sms or msn even if u're angry u still can add "haha" or "lol" and pretend everything's alright when actual fact it isn't..haha and some ppl (like me) will feel it much nicer to type in msn or sms than to talk face to face or even on the phone..haha u may call it hypocritcy cuz u may not mean wat u type..but i supposed most of the time it'll save u from regretting ur impulsive actions?
haha been writing postcards to everyone for gong yan for the past days..but now..i decided not to pass it to anyone nor to continue..haha just let this memory go like tt..it might be framed up afterwards i dunno..and i might regret not giving postcards to everyone..but..for now i decided not to write anymore..haha
oh..and i wan to conc on study..tho it's quite easier said than done..especially when i'm the type tt play hard and use the study time to play oso ppl..but..haha so to encourage ourselves when we wanna pull out from studies..i decided wan have study grp!! lol tt's my initial idea lah..who noes i might change it tml..lalala...but i wanna devotion to my studies..like wat carmen said every tchr expect no less than tt..and since after the performance i have no business in dunman high anymore i'll probably spend all my time studying..i might have no life but i shall use these two yrs wisely..hmmm...do i hear ppl sob out of comfort tt i finally turn so dong shi??haha yay i've grown *beams*
this fri got mjco..cuz guo can't make it today so change it to fri..but i wonder WHY..like it's one day to gong yan and he's free to go mjco conduct?? anyway i not going co on fri!! haha going back to practise..or else i guarantee 100% flop-ness of the gong yan on my part..lalala..wanna run for exco but looking at my absence in first three mth and not going for practice just after they started..i wonder how slim my chance become..haha everyone noe everyone and dizi i'm the only one who need to break the ice..hmm..need i elaborate more? ( oh i discover the jay chou look alike plays dizi!! haha) on the topic on mjco and dizi..did self intro to them and i THINK they have some thing to say about me coming from hk and from dunman high and grade 5..like hello~~.....cuz this j2 dizi guy tell the other dizi girl who came to talk to us "eh she from hk one leh...eh she dunman high leh..eh she grade 5 leh.." den i was like "it doesn't mean anything" all the way..cuz it REALLY doesn't mean anything lah..like come from hk so wat..i stay in singapore longer than i stay in hk lah..and i'm the lousiest from dunman..and my grade 5 is merit with the second lowest score in the batch (the lowest apparently is lili..is it apparent?)..i feel totally wordless..and i dunno wat HE is gonna comment next if he discovers i'm same age as him.."eh she 88 one oso leh".....................................maybe my mjco life will be much worse than i can expect..i wan change cca!!!!!
it's super weird to walk around in the same area as band when u're from co..and especially when i have seniors from pri band tt may or may not recognise me..lol still wondering if i shld approach those i rmb from pri sch and say hi!.....cuz it's 75% tt they wun recognise me..hahaha it's funny..when i haven't change much..maybe it's to show how insignificant i was in pri sch?
oh ya!! haha at least one thing to be happy about..maybe i will get to play feng nian ji!! isn't it exciting? i wan play tt song~~ anyway i got the score for fen yong qian jin and colours of the wind..possibly next prac i'll get first love..like huh u co play this kind of songs???!!
tink my class getting on well leh..haha after the first few times of successfully gathering everyone to eat together now our cg eats together..which is nice cuz now even if i come down from lit alone i'll noe where to go..especially when now i dun come down alone..haha shall be cheerful and get to noe more ppl..somehow i tink i aiming just to know everyone will do..i'm not preparing to have heart to heart talk with them cuz i tink they have their own close friends and i hope i'll be able to keep mine..maybe i'll get closer with just one or two but we won't be tt close..
talking about friends..haha discover really it's hard to maintain friendships if u're different class AND sch AND neighbourhood..now i supposed the only thing tt link me with zy is dhsco..with the gongyan coming to a close soon..i wonder wat else can we do to remain as close..sometimes it seems so much easier to talk ur hearts out with ur not so close but still close friends like to me sophia (we talked all the way from bedok to my house on 854) but i will just lost for words and dunno wat to say to close friends (zy and zr)..usually it'll all end up as just shallow stuff tt i can tell just anybody..while the rest of things tt i wanted to say remained locked up inside..and zr jj and me dun even have tt bridge of dhsco..AND i dun live mp tt area..
lol maybe it's the lack of friends maybe it's a change of attitude like wat i said earlier on..i discover in one way or another i'm protecting myself more and more thoroughly..like the other time carmen reflected on me and i just dismiss it almost immediately..like now i dun mind no one to talk to..like i'm at a lost and no one to talk to so in the end i dun talk..words may scar my heart..but it'll never show now..less than ever b4..hahaha is it getting profound? i tink it's sad..i dun care for a list of things tt i cared for and should care for now..
haha ok enuf of craps i shall go and eat soon..lalala..only jianmin shining huiqi yingyu clara debbie online..no carmen no xiuyi no zy no zr no jj no ruth no no one..who am i supposed to talk to...?
CYA!!:)