after i read through the 艺林, i think i'm agreeing with chenye's compo.
she said that when three people get close together, there will always be one party that feel that she's left out, and then tried either to squeeze in or just drop out. i don't know where she got this idea from, most probably from me her and shushan.
how should i say? i believe there's selfishness in everyone, and i would not like to admit it. let me get this straight. there was me and shushan happily together, then chenye came along, we did fine, then things went out of hand when me and chenye try to pull shushan to one side, then we fell apart. who's in the wrong? i've always thought that chenye was the one that had stolen shushan from me, but the fact is, i'm trying to get shushan back to me, and thus pulling her from chenye too. i'm in the wrong, but she is too.
she said that there'll always be some jealousy, there'll always be times when two person's closer and the third one left out. yes, it happened so. in all my relationships i think.
in primary sch there was chormin and flora, and when we went to the same class i just got close with chormin. then i heard later that although flora played together with us too, she said that i stole her best friend from her. maybe be so, but i wasn't thinking much of stealing and stuff then.
then came secondary school. me chenye and shushan. me and shushan, then chenye added in, and i fell out. i with zhuangyuan, and there comes jingjing, but luckily this time i did not give up. i tried to, really. then come carmen and xiuyi, and i added in, and this time it's complicated. i tried to give up, but yet unwilling to too. then now, in jc, i was with jane, then shi ting came along. jane withdraw from the sch even after i persuaded her to stay. maybe because i said until very nicely thru sms and when i see her i was cold. it was just tt i dunno how to face her. then i with hauyin, then came peihui. maybe i try not to care anymore, or because aixin was there, i don't mind that much about it, and tried to get along. it's going fine. maybe it was bacause it's 4. because three people one will feel extra cuz she'll feel left out when the other two talks. at least in 4, two people talk, the other two can still strike up conversation. we wun feel tt abandoned. like wat happened to me zy zhaorui and jj. two is gd, but 4 is fine too.
maybe all the problems pop out just cuz of my selfishness. i wan a one to one. i dun wan to be abandoned and all the people think that 3's ok..3's fine..3's a nice no..maybe the problem lies with me. really.
this is my choice, whatever happens, i'll remember that i chose it, and i shall never regret. never.