maybe what my mum say is true afterall. after being thru so much self denials and refusing to wake from dream, after all we HAVE to wake up. today lu give back the compo we did during holidays and told me mine was selected for yi lin. shushan was happy for me. but not zy. nor sally. i dunno. maybe i was tinking too much into things again. cuz she turned my direction and say: oh my god! ur compo realli got selected? realli? ok tell u the truth i feel insulted. shld'nt u be happy for me tt i finally achieve something? and the feeling then was quite indescriptable.it's like ok so zy dun trust me. and i began to doubt myself if it was realli written by me. ok it's written by me in case u're doubting..cuz it's about co and tt time syf juxt ended and all the feelings jux came rushing..ya anyway thankx to ss who believed in me, i believed in myself in the end. and i tell myself dun mind. cuz i'm seeing too much into things again. and i shall not mind.
today fenzu i supposed i was fierce. but look at the nearly hopeless standard they are in. and the performance's on this sat. and they have no mind of their own to improve at all. i dunno. maybe they din realise how impt tt was. cuz it was OPEN HOUSE for public. it's the CO face tt matters. i dunno wat i crapping now. nvm. and i'm sad tt the traditions are fading away.
fading..fading..gone.
for good.