madagascar.
this is a cartoon of animals in the zoo being shipped to the wild. this is supposed to be something light-hearted for people to enjoy during their free time. but this is just so happened that i am a person who think a lot into things, and i think too much this time again.
i don't know..four friends of different types of animals came together and live so happily together in the zoo..where the differences are minimal and in the man-made environment..it's so artificial yet true. but when they get to the wild, where they realli belong, they realise their differences and realise that afterall, they ARE different. this called for arguements and disagreements, and alex is separated from the rest cause he's the onli carnivore. they are in the natural environment and they nearly could not withstand the test put upon them. but murty did not give up on him, and pulled him through..it's so real yet so impossible in real life.
this got me into thinking of what is happening to me now. xiuyi, carmen, zhuangyuan, everyone and i have so much differences, and so much likeness. and yet, things do not always go according to our wishes. to me, friendship is the most important thing in my life that i put my soul into it, and it had somehow surpassed the level of happiness my family have given me over the years. things are changing now, and i could only sough comfort in my family, away from all the pains and troubles that the friendship once brought me happiness is bringing to me now.
i admit that this suffering is mostly due to the fact that i am selfish and could not share a friendship with another friend, even though everyone else could. i want a whole-hearted friendship in which i am always put at first priority, and a friend that is aware of my feeling of being neglect. i have thought this problem of myself through, and could find no other reasons except that this might have caused by me being in a big family. in a family where so many siblings are given a share of the parental love, i could never get enough of the concerns i want in order to feel secure. and i tried to find that in my friendship, resulting in me always being too over-protective of my friendship. i dare not tell others this problem, and had careful not to be over- protective, cause i know everyone hate being confined..and everyone is satisfied with a tiny bit of friendship from everyone. not me.
i felt like alex in the time of trouble. people offer to help me but i turned them away. and no one bothers to stay put and pull me through. and so i stayed in my own indulgence of self pity and fell there forever.
until someone pull me through it all, and teach me the meaning of being strong and independent. teach me to be able to survive in my lonely world with contentment. teach me to feel secure. teach me to survive on the tiny bit of friendship that is given to me. teach me the meaning of sharing a friend. teach me how to let others take away my whole friendship and return me with a little of theirs.tell me i am not good enough to complaint. tell me i am just being a selfish me. tell me what i am doing is not right.
teach me..how to let go.